Dog Health Questions: Marital Conflict Over Dog?

My husband and I adopted a dog about a week ago. He's a sweet dog but has a few typical issues and is very needy of attention. My husband has never had a dog before, and I grew up with dogs, so I have a lot more experience with them. I've also been reading about dog training and also have a lot more time to spend with the dog because my husband has been away with lots of work lately. In my opinion, my husband doesn't always know how to act with the dog (expecting him to sit or come just by saying the words but not really showing any excitement in his voice, which the dog needs in order to understand, etc.). He also has yelled at the dog a few times and gotten frustrated when the dog was always lying down and making it hard for him to put on the harness for a walk. This freaked the dog out and made him turn over into a submissive position on his back. My husband doesn't really understand this, and it makes me uncomfortable because I think he's not always acting with the dog as I think is ideal. I know he'll have a learning curve, but I want him to be more patient. He's upset with me now because he says I'm telling him what to do and criticizing his actions with the dog. I get worried when he acts like this because we don't have kids yet and want them, and I wonder how much patience he'll have with kids if he's being like this when he's tired with the dog. How can we work through this? Any suggestions? It's been stressful for us to go from a couple without kids to a couple with a very needy dog overnight.

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I can sympathize with you and especially your husband.

I was in the exact same situation a few years ago when my wife decided to get a puppy from her aunt who breeds Chinese Cresteds. I was in the Navy at the time and on deployment. When I returned home my wife "surprised" me with a new dog that I didn't exactly care for. Not only was I not used to having a dog, but I certainly wouldn't have chosen this hairless little thing that looked more like a rat than a dog. I didn't like him and became terribly frustrated when trying to walk him, cleaning up after him, etc. I finally told my wife he was going back to her aunt. She said give it a little more time. We went to dog training classes (a HUGE help) and I eventually grew fond of the little guy. Now, 5 years later and I can't imagine not having him in my life and he's actually closer to me than my wife (I think).

As for an indicator of kids in the future, I thought the same thing about myself. If I can't handle a dog, how am I gonna deal with a tiny human being that demands even more attention? As it turns out, having a kid was nothing like that. Sure, you're scared, frustrated, and don't have a clue about what you're doing at first, but you learn along the way and hopefully you have family that will help out as well.

Bottom line: definitely look into dog training classes. If hubby is too busy during the day, many trainers will do home visits, which is what we did at first, then attended his classes with other dogs. They can be expensive, but it's well worth it and your vet should be able to recommend a good one. If that isn't possible, read as much as you can about it, then put that knowledge to use with your husband. Praise him when he does something good (the dog & your hubby). Give it some time & patience and I'm willing to bet he comes around and will eventually love the dog as much as you do.

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• It has just been a week since you brought the dog. You should give your husband some more time to adjust with the dog. I bet you must be quite acquainted with dog training but do not point out anything that may upset your husband. Instead praise him for trying to get along with the dog and politely give suggestions that may or may not be from your knowledge of dog training. If you want kids in the future, you have to be a bit flexible.


• NEITHER one of you understands dogs ! I would suggest you both see a professional trainer or give the dog away . How your husband acts with a dog (unless he's truly abusive ) is no indication of how he'll act with children .


• It's good you are standing up for the poor thing - chances are your new dog had a hard life before you brought him home.
  
  Give your husband time to bond with the dog, and hopefully he will change his attitude towards him. Let your husband know when he does something right with the dog too, as that will encourage him to do more of the same.