My husband just lets the dog do whatever it wants. He won't discipline it at all. Like the dog will jump up on the sofa when we are eating. I make the dog get down and lay down on the floor. That is his command when we are eating is to lied down on the floor. My husband just lets him sit on his shoulder and pester. If I have a cup on the table next to me and I get up, the dog will jump up and lick in my cup the second I get up. My husband just sits there and lets him do it.
He plays tug of war games and the dog will growl and nip him. He doesn't nip me as I taught him straight away not to nip me.
Now whenever me and my husband try to have a romantic moment on the sofa, the dog will jump up and try to lick all over us and pester. I make him get down and lay down. My husband won't.
It is like my husband thinks it is mean to make the dog do anything at all. I say it isn't being mean to teach the dog he can't jump all over us, get in our food, and bite.
I have explained and asked very nicely to my husband that the dog must learn manners or he will be a horrid pest and ill mannered. It is to the point where he will snap at us for trying to buckle his collar.
Is there any hope in this situation or should I just try to find the dog a new home with a dog trainer or someone experienced? I really love the dog but our house is full of pee and his behavior is getting out of hand. I am trying really hard to train him. I thought about sending him away for training but am afraid it will be undone when he gets home.
Dog Training Fundamentals - 5 Key Dog Behaviour Factors That Affect Training
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This sounds to me like more of a problem between you and your husband, than just the fact that he doesn't back you up in training. I've seen this alot of the many years I've been in the dog training world, and unless you and he can come to an agreement, no training is going to work with your dog.
Sit down with him and have a serious talk about what you expect and ask what he expects and work with him before attempting to train your dog. Unless you can work together with a dog, working together on other things will turn out poorly also. By sitting down and discussing your training problems calmly, you will continue to run in to a hubby that is trying very hard to control you.
Not fun.
Here's a site you might both look at and come to terms with training methods that appeal to both of you. This site owner is a well-known professional trainer using all positive methods that are fun for you and your dog;
http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com
click on "articles" next to the picture and scroll down to see which article interests you, but do this together.
Secrets to Dog Training to Stop Your Dog's Behavior Problems
- You should go to you local petsmart and make sure to bring your dog with you and they will train them for you I have seen them train the dogs and they seem to listen to every command .
- Google NILIF training and have your husband read about it. Also consider bringing a good trainer/behaviorist into your home to talk some sense into him. You can find a referral through your vet.
My husband and I had a similar problem with a pointer mix we brought home. He wasn't nearly so bad as yours as he did try, but in the end we couldn't agree on a training method and wound up rehoming the dog. I get periodic updates on him and if it for some reason doesn't work out, no matter if it's years down the road, that we'll take him back.
If your husband doesn't want to try then you really can't make him. It's a shame, and I wonder if he just doesn't understand or if he just doesn't want a dog. The dog snapping at you and getting between you two is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Perhaps it's time you stop explaining and asking nicely and start demanding his cooperation. Tell him that when he lets the dog drink out of YOUR cup that that is not only disgustingly unsanitary (a dog's mouth is filthy) but it's a sign of a complete, utter lack of respect for you and your personal health.
He needs to learn and realize that the dog's behavior is not a dog "being a dog", it is not letting him express creativity or have a little fun or any other pass-the-buck sentiment that gets him out of helping with the family pet. This dog's behavior is the result of a spoiled brat. Would he let a child behave this way? Probably not. This dog is sending a very clear message, and that message is "I'm in charge here, I do what I want, when I want, and walk all over whomever I want. There will be no cuddling on my couch, there will be no affection or attention that is not regulated and approved by me, and I will eat whatever I want whenever I want." This dog has a major superiority complex.
Like I said, does your husband not understand, or did he not want a dog in the first place? Failure to participate in training the family dog is a common symptom of somebody who made it clear they didn't want a dog to begin with. Ignoring the problem is ones way of saying it ISN'T their problem, and the fact that he'll let the dog dictate whether you will or will not touch your husband, or let him sample your dinner if you get up, indicates a problem that goes deeper than the stupid dog. Time to ask him what the f*ck his problem is.
[Add] Call your vet and ask him what he knows about canine behavior. Describe the dog's behavior and see if his line of thinking is the same as yours. Some vets really don't know crap about canine behavior, some know plenty. If your vet's opinion is the same, take the dog in for a routine checkup, husband in tow, and open a discussion.
Get to the library and pick up some books on dog training and canine behavior.
Dogs need and crave an orderly, firm pack structure. They are biologically programmed to respond to firm leadership or assume the role of leader when it is absent. Print up pages on NILIF training and Small Dog Syndrome. Tell your husband to grow up. It's a dog, his feelings won't be hurt. - if you husband is not following through with the training, then I really don't see how this dog is going to be properly trained. it needs to have structure in its life, when your training it, and your husband is not, it is simply confusing the dog. And will not know right from wrong. But from what your telling me is that the dogs see's you more of an Alpha of the pack in your house hold.You have to convince your husband that there are certain things that are not to be tolerated at all.
- My dogs behavior is a little about them a ton about me, my husband, family, visitors are irrelevant. My dogs are trained to please me. I teach them what behaviors I allow and what I don't allow. Use the command Shame. I just have to point at my dogs, or snap a finger. Keep working on the cup thing and jumping, it takes time to win the battles, so ignore the husband and focus on the puppy, you will get there. I use a crate* to potty train with, but only for potty training and then I break it down and store it. I put blankets and a small food and water dish in the crate. Dogs don't potty where they eat and sleep. When they are first little, I only expect them to hold their potty for 4 hours, and then 6 hours, then 8 hours and so on. So when they are first little, I set a timer or alarm clock to wake myself up at night to take them *out. I only allow my puppy in the bedroom* or the living room, only one room at a time. They have to graduate to more space. If I allow them to have full run of the house, it will overwhelm them. I take them out the same door each time. I tie a dinner bell to the door handle. Do not use a jingle bell as they could get their toe caught in it. So when they are little, I ring the bell for them, and then open the door to go *outside to potty. When they get bigger, I take their paw and whack the bell and open the door to go potty. Eventually getting to the place where the puppy will ring the bell and let me know when they need to go potty. Dogs want to please you, so it is your job to let them know what behaviors please you and what doesn't. So when my puppy goes potty, I give her a treat*, and clap, and make a fuss and praise her. So she learns that going potty outside makes me happy. If she has an accident, make a disgust sound like “tsst” and take her out right away. I never yell* or spank* my puppies. Take them out when they first wake up, after they eat or drink, before nap, finish romping, when their activities change, or when they are sniffing around. Some puppies go pee right away, but may not go poop until 10 minutes later, so wait for the poop. I have a little play time here, because sometimes I think they are done, and they are not. Puppies train at their own pace. While I may have a puppy that hasn't had an accident in several weeks, I don't let my guard down, the bladder is not grown until 6-months-old and they are not fully potty trained until 1-year old. If they have a setback, shake it off, and start over. I only have my puppies in the crate when I am not watching them. When I am sleeping, cooking, ironing, doing chores, basically when I am not watching her. All other times, she is out of the crate practicing being a "big girl." This is the time I train her how to behave in the house. So we are practicing "no barking", 'no biting", "no jumping", and "don't eat the furniture." I also have to practice "playing inside" so she doesn't knock over things. You must keep the puppy in sight when they are little because they don't know the difference between newspaper and carpet, and you don't want them sneaking off and getting into trouble.
REVISIONS:
*I use a CRATE to train with. It is the method I prefer, compared to other methods I have tried. I noticed that if they are in the crate, while I am doing chores, they are o.k., because the crate allows them to see me and be re-assured. The crate can also be a comfort when stored in the basement for dogs who live in areas where thunderstorms and tornados are an issue. . However, use the method that works best for you.....a laundry basket, a cardboard box, a woof-woof house, x-pen, child gates, whatever works for you.
*OUTSIDE, pee pad, litter box, whichever method you are using.
*BEDROOMS, I use the bedroom and living room for training, because it works for me. Choose rooms that work for you, but watch for rooms that are damp, or drafty. They don't have to sleep in the bedroom forever, just while they are training.
*TREATS. I like Charlee Bears for training (a little cracker for a little mouth,) but once they are trained, I cut back on them.
*SOME PUPPIES have to be told to go potty. A command like "go out" for pee, or "go finish" for poop, might work for you, keep saying “go finish” until the puppy poops. By using commands, the puppy won't get confused when you are visiting someone, on vacation with you, or when you get to a new home. The command will tell them what you want them to do in an unfamiliar place.
*YELLING. It is not a good idea to "yell" or "spank" your puppy and then take them outside when they have an accident. In your mind you taught potty training, in the puppies mind, it got scolded and put outside, so outside becomes the place it never wants to go, in the puppies mind. - Have a serious talk with your husband about how the dog is becoming unmanageable due to him not backing up your training. If you can't get any agreement then it would be better for everyone, including the dog, if it was rehomed on the grounds that the family doesn't have the time or ability to look after it. If your husband agrees to help retrain it, the the first thing to do is get a crate and furnish it with a comfy cushion and a blanket over 3 sides, this - gradually over a couple of weeks - should become your dog's little den and you may soon be able to shut the dog in there at times when you don't need it to be bothering you.
- Buy a kennel, start going to dog training classes and tell your husband this dog will be competing in obedience and agility so he must start helping you train the dog your way. Look it sounds like your husband is lazy and trying to piss you off. I think you need one more talk and it should be one sided this is what you expect him to do if this happens and his is what happens if the dog does this.
I am all for letting the dog have privileges but they must be earned and I have a kennel so if my dog wont listen a break in the kennel is what I do. As for the dog growling I don't stop growling it means you have an issue but I would counter condition the dog to let you touch his collar. It sounds like you are very much the force based dog trainer and your hubby is a wet noodle. You both need work, you need to learn free shaping and operant conditioning. Find a positive reinforcement dog trainer. Your hubby needs to learn that being permissive is also wrong and only making a dog that is spoiled.
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