So my fiancee and I have been together for 4 years and we live together. His cousin's dog had puppies and he gave my fiancee one of them. My fiancee absolutely loves the dog, adores it to death. But me, not so much. I went on board with the idea because my fiancee was so excited with his gift but from the first week I already knew that this was not gonna be easy.
Caring for a puppy is alot of responsibility and takes so much time. We are having financial troubles and we barely have to money to take care of the poor thing. We are working all the time and the dog only gets time with us at night.
The dog has just learned to pee/poo outside but it has accidents whenever it gets excited or scared. It sheds everywhere, One hour after I've cleaned the house it's already dirty. I'm so stressed out and sad because lately my fiancee and I fight over the dog all the time. I don't want to be mean, but maybe I'm just not a dog person. Now I don't know what to do, how can I get my fiancee to see my side and give up the dog that he loves so much. It will break his heart, I don't even know how our household will be w/o the dog now. I don't want him to blame me.
OR how can I get myself to like dogs more because so far nothing has worked. The dog smells, nips, barks and won't let me sleep.... I'm thinking maybe I should just give up and leave. We don't have money for dog training classes, or even to take it to a vet. So confused =(
Dog Training - More on Dog Training Hand Signals
Recommended Answer:puppies are a lot of work and some of it's behaviors probably won't go away/calm down until it's 2 yrs old.
honestly it doesn't sound like a puppy is right for you. Maybe an older dog, but some of those issues (smells, shedding) are just part of having a dog. If you keep up on the grooming it's not too bad.
I would tell your fiancee that at this point it's not fair to you or the dog. It needs shots, it needs to be neutered/spayed (you kept referring to the dog as "it" or "the dog" a clear sign you don't like it lol). It does need to be trained. It needs a lot of things and it's all pretty expensive.
Sit down, talk to him. Maybe compromise, if he can solve some of the issues you have with the dog, but otherwise...
Dog House Training - Complete Dog Training Tips and Tricks For Training Your Dog in Your Home
- if you already have the dog keep him, shelters don't do any good once you bought him he's yours thousands of dogs and cats and other animals die everyday in shelters whether its mistreatment or if no-one buys them they just put them down.
- You shouldn't have this puppy for the only reason that you don't have the money to care for it.
But if you are considering breaking up your relationship over a puppy then I would be concerned about your maturity and readiness for something serious.
- If you can't afford to be able to provide Vet care for the dog, you shouldn't have it. It doesn't matter if your fiancee loves the dog or not. That is NEGLECT, not love!
- If you don't have the money or the time to properly care for and raise him, you need to find him a home that can. Otherwise it is not fair to the dog.
- The fact is.....if a dog can cause this much emotional difficulty...or misunderstanding...or complications....how in the future would you deal with a child. I would see this as a red flag.
- The fact that your fiance took a puppy without considering your feelings or the fact that neither of you are financially prepared or available to care for it as a big concern. It signals a bigger problem with your relationship overall beyond the puppy. If the fact remains that you don't have the money to care for it and have no time for it (regardless of your feelings) and he did it anyway and would blame you if it were gone says volumes.
I'm a dog person and I say it's fine not to be a dog person. Just don't own one. It's not OK for your fiance to force one on you or blame you if it's not working. But if later on when money and time are not the issues and he wants a dog and you don't, then what? How would you handle so it's fair to all involved?
It's not so different as how you'd handle other big decisions (children or not, where to live, etc.). Time for you two to talk honestly. If you can't, dig deep and decide if you are in a relationship with the right person.
- If you are not a dog person, and your spouse-to-be is, I see trouble in your future. The two of you need to work out whether you can deal with a dog in your life or whether your fiancee can live without one. When one wants a pet and the other doesn't, there is a lot of fighting in store down the road. You're both talking the rest of your lives: can a dog lover go a few years without one? Absolutely. Is a dog lover willing to go a lifetime without one (without at a minimum, resenting their partner for it)? Probably not.
If you don't have money for vet care, training, etc. you don't get the dog, period (it would be totally irresponsible and reprehensible to get a dog you can't care for). However, the issue will probably come up in the future, when there is more money for these things.
Read More...